On the morning of Wednesday before I travelled out of town to go to the Far East of the country to work, I suddenly woke up right before my alarm went off.
I slowly searched for my phone in my beddings with the lights off until I located it like a blind man would.
Time check, it was about 4:26am. I looked at the notifications on my social media channels as is my usual addiction and there was nothing exciting and thrilling. At that time, a lot of things were going on through my mind. After a day off thanks to the public holiday that was a day before, I had long lost sleep and insomnia had settled in.
In a short while, I was lost in thought. For the most time of the morning as I played random music off my Spotify playlists, a lot of thoughts strolled by. Thoughts about my life, thoughts about my family, friends. I thoroughly thought about my job,my future and just about my next years.
I asked myself and wondered; Is this the kind of person I want to be in the next five years or so? will I have the passion to do what I’m doing now in the next few years, where will I be when I seemingly do just about everything I love and reach places that I’ve always cherished?
While I sit by and splash all the money I spend under the disguise of “Living every second of my life” and ‘seeking happiness’ a question did strike me, is this how I am planning for my future? Is this how I want tomorrow to find me looking like?
A myriad of questions, thoughts, reflections occupied the greater part of my mind. I think it happens to almost every Youth my age. Especially when they’re broke, broken and zonked up.
In the early days of September, I’ll be turning 24 years of age and this got me much lost in thought. At this age, I cease to be young anymore, atleast according to the standards society continues to impose. I stand to be slapped by more and more responsibilities, roles and challenges. It’s an era that will check me so hard to the point of no return. I’m scared but also optimistic at the same time.
At my age today, I sit and compare a lot, what are other folks doing better than I am. Why am I this way, I’m I happy? Are they happier than me or am I better off this way. At every dawn, I take a time travel into what my life will be like in the next couple of years. I guess also comparing my life to other always continues to bring me to this lane of life.
On a random day, I sit by the coffee shop or during my lunchtime break and wonder if I’ll still have the friends I have today then, will I have a girlfriend finally or I’ll still be single? It’s baffling. I’m torn between very many things and admittedly, I fear facing some of my challenges and simply sweep them under the carpet and give them a deaf ear and Blind eye. Could it have made or broken me at times?
Surely, I can never know and if I told you I did, I’d prolly be the biggest liar our generation has ever seen.It’s happening. I feel it coming, Adulting in its real discourse is coming down upon me and some other fellow youth that might relate to what I’m going through. I’m not complaining, I’m just a little confused! Don’t we all get to this point?
Argh, don’t mind me on this one, I’ll be Fine tomorrow!
No wise man ever wished to be younger. ~ Jonathan Swift