I hope you’re super fine. I while ago, I just got off the phone with you, you were telling me about how business is growing and how you wanted me to be of help. Before we got off the phone, I wanted to open up to you about something.
When I said all is well, when I told you just how everything is moving on smoothly, life is moving on well and cool, I lied. Everything I laid out and that I’ve always did is a total lie Mum.
It’s not a bed of roses like I always portray it over the the phone. It’s not as smooth and sweet as I make it sound on phone. It’s rather a rain of slaps, a bag of kicks, a sack of disappointments, a bowl full of frustrations and a basin full of drama.
I’d love to tell you everything but I don’t want to worry you. I’d love to tell you about how paying rent is becoming hard, some bills feel like I’m being ripped off, my job is getting busier by the day & less interesting by the day but because I need the money, I have no option Mum, I’m hanging in there.
I can’t seem to be trusting very many people, there are so many crooks out here ready to prey on your son Mum. They’re waiting & doing just about anything to fail me. They’re trailing me and deliberately failing me. I’m strong mum and I’ll overcome.
It’s been ages since I last went to church Mum, I’m sorry that my relationship with the church continues to deteriorate, that the values with which I was raised continue to be undermined, I’m sorry Mum.
Although, you never told me about anything to do with how adulting will be this hard, I’m out here figuring it out slowly by slowly. To make it through this phase in life, you never hinted that it would rock climbing & a stroll in the desert. It’s such a huge hurdle.
I’m better than I was because today, im wiser & smarter. Today, i’m more grateful than regretful. I’m more pleased by just how your prayers for me are working. I’m now a better self and I hope I do make you proud.
I can choose to go on and on but not all may fit here and I doubt you’ll read till here and if you do, just know I love you!