A while ago at the Alchemist Bar & Kitchen which was home again to yet another ever amazing edition of the Ciroc Pineapple Brunch, I was seated by the counter to dive in on the jovial mood that filled the air.
Folks from all walks of life seemed to be having & living their best life. Waitresses often swung past be with orders of food and drinks on their trays firmly seated on their right hands to be served to hungry people waiting impatiently. Sax king Michael Kitanda did his thing as the Deejays scratched the decks and mixed away their music. As expected, it was indeed an awesome brunch.
Besides me as we watched soccer sat a fairly aged man seemingly in his early 30s. Like me, he’s come on his own and was catching his while watching his match and sipping the evening away. On the other hand, I was sipping on my cold mango juice shortly after I was done with lunch right before he second half started.
In our mini conversation, the gentleman had noticed that I wasn’t imibing on any intoxicat and I didn’t seem like I was about to. He even asked which beer I was taking to which I responded i no longer drink. He then told me, “I’d love to also quit alcohol like you, maybe then I’ll be a better man.”
He quickly got even some of my full soccer attention to get to hear more of why his reason for quitting would be “to be a better man”. Of all things, his reason was one of never heard of, it sounded so genuine and yet so hard to comprehend. It was deep, it was serious and it was also a mature reason.
Although he didn’t seem the kind that would have a serious alcohol issue if at all there are any, he was full of composure and calmness even as he spoke. But one thing for sure is the fact that he opened up to a stranger and told me that he wants to quit alcohol so that he can be a better man had left me baffled. After small talk and a little laughter, we both went back to paying attention to the remaining 45 mins of the match as both our team (Arsenal) was playing.
In my mind till now, this still rings in my head. Could he be facing a serious problem that is making him drink, why does he still drink when he clearly knows it’s not any good for him? What’s up with him? Is he stressed? There’s lots of reasons people drink and stop drinking but to quit because you want to be a better person is something I’ve not heard in a while.
Also, what really makes someone a better man? Is it the way they take themselves, the way society views them? The jobs they have or the money they have? What’s the formula for being a better person? Who gives the final verdict that you’re now a better man? Who hands you the ‘better man’ Medal of Honor? Who monitors your progress and who validates your actions to be good or bad?
See I know I’m asking quite a lot but those are just the voices in my head ever since I had a small talk with a stranger by the bar counter. I also want to be a better man, although I recently quit alcohol, my main reason for doing so was not to be a better person than I was but that’s something I’d gladly love to embroid too in my youthful journey.
I really don’t know how to be a better man, I don’t know what society expects of me or if I’m to care about their expectations anyway. See I want to be happy, live life by the edges, break rules, speak my mind freely and go about what makes me pleased with so much ease. However, my dilemma is I don’t want to end up a victim of hate, criticism and so much rage, in quest for a good life, free speech and much more, I don’t want to rub people the wrong way. All in all, I want to be a better person too! How? I really don’t know!