Allow Yourself to Heal
It ended in tears, right?
Chances are whoever is reading has been through an unpleasant phase of their lives that they detest to date and any mere thought of it evokes a sense of anguish within.
You’re not alone, it’s many of us here, me too.
Whatever it was, it broke you, it tore you apart and ripped your everything wide open.
Gosh, it hurts so bad and it’s left you cursing, a bitter mortal and a has left a taint on your heart.
Was it a relationship? A friendship went down the drain? A betrayal? A promise that never came true? A failed business?
If you are reading this far and have been a victim of heartbreak, congratulations, you didn’t die and there’s still some great amount of hope.
Come on, let’s all heal.
Every time your actions are indirectly or directly influenced by past events that left you hurt and wounded, then you’ve not yet moved on nor healed from what tore you in the past as you want those around you to believe.
It also doesn’t require that much rocket science to figure out the source of your paranoia.
The thing about pretending that you’re fine when you’re not is that it shall always come back to you in some sort of way. You’ll keep hurting whether you want it or not.
You’ve got to make peace with yourself and allow that you need to fully heal.
Here’s everything I know that has helped me, my friends, random folks I have met across the counter lost in thought and some fellas battling a mid-life crisis but have somehow camped in my DMs for advice.
Give Yourself Time.
Healing from whatever deeply hurt you can take a lot of energy and time. Give yourself all the time and understand that it may take some time before you fully get back to the person you feel comfortable being. Whereas it may take a short while for some to fully heal, it may take you ages before you finally heal and It’s okay.
Give yourself all the time you need to heal, don’t be hard on yourself and keep blaming yourself for whatever happened, for being the reason things didn’t work, quite frankly none of that will help matters.
Recovering from the things that tore you apart can be such a daunting process especially when the memories are fresh or they’re easily triggered. Healing might not happen overnight but once accorded the right amount of time, it’s bound to happen.
Talk about it.
Every time a deal or relationship doesn’t go as planned, don’t just keep it to yourself. Go have a coffee or simply with someone, could be your friend or someone you confide in and have a word with them about it.
Talking can help you unleash the anguish you’ve been keeping on the inside for the longest time. It can get you feeling relieved.
I and my friends love to make fun of each other about our failed relationships and while at it, we share how we overcame and moved on and somehow we’re all consoled and never have to dwindle our lives and lose it because of the past.
Make Up your mind.
It’s all a myth and a joke if you’re not fully in on this.
All efforts to heal from whatever robbed you of your happiness and left you with nothing but paid will be such a waste of time if you don’t make up your mind to actually heal. To be able to come from a place of anger, rage, and depression, you need to fully make up your mind and put in the determination to put everything behind you and move on.
I know moving on can be hard. Like f**king hard.
Reminiscing on the good old days. Who doesn’t miss those fancy times that made every minute of life memorable? Tell me who?
Listen, yeah! Those days are gone & you gotta make up your mind, accept that for the sake of you, you’ve got to trash all those memories. If you don’t make up your mind and convince yourself that you indeed want to heal from what broke you then you’re playing yourself.
Don’t post anything on social media
I get it, we’re in the age of free speech and at the helm of this, is social media making all of us believe that the internet is where we can run to for all our needs, consolation and whatnot.
I hate to sound pessimistic but the internet doesn’t really care about whatever you’re dealing with and it’s best you stay as far away as possible if you are going through a difficult time.
Posting your situations on social media for the whole world to see may not be the best thing to do when you’re trying to recover.
Social media as we know it all is one giant family where people with divergent views hangout from and no one( or very few do) has time to care about others in such a crowded, noisy world. Your efforts to seek solace from social media may be spoilt but just a mere negative comment and this may affect you the most mentally. Keep your issues away from social media only if you feel it’s a safe circle for you to.
Yes, run to the internet and read blogs that might help you get through your situation( like this one. ^Wink) or visit a therapist online. That’s totally fine.
Make it a lesson, learn from it.
Situations are there to test your strength and resilience and whatever puts you down should be seen as an opportunity to be better and wiser.
I am not even the original author of that saying but I have seen something like that often used by motivational speakers and some bloggers and to be honest, it makes tonnes of sense to me.
Failing at something, could be a start-up failing or a long-term relationship coming to a sad end can leave a serious impact on you especially mentally. However, this should not be the case because whereas all these leave behind unpleasant memories, they also leave trails of lessons to be learned.
To heal faster, you can choose to look at the things that failed and look at working to improve them rather than whining about how nothing worked and being disgruntled.