100 Day of My Youth (Day 87): Hey there, Can I love you?

We got to this spot. We didn’t ask for it but we somehow got here and we can only do so much about.

We got to a place where we have to modify our hearts to love. To make it work, You gotta fake it till you make it work and tick. Ohh the Paradox of life!

Who’s to blame? Me or You? I don’t know.

So in the wee hours of the night.... Like a thief, we broke in and we came back to jot a few things down here.... It’s been a while and we have been eaten up by the microblogs on social media and we have been blinded to think that’s enough but Nah.... It’s not. Also, we’ve been caught up by this thing called ‘ageing’ that has had us chasing for paper to meet these ever growing list of bills and demands.

Man, growing up is a trap!

So we’re back to square one, the basics and the old skool. We’re back to the first love.... The Pen!

First cut is the deepest... So we’re here again.

Hey, I want to have a coffee talk or grab a beer with you by the counter and indulge in some obscure talk... You in?

Okay!

So there’s a puzzle.... It’s love!

When it hits rock bottom, we all want to get to a place so deserted maybe an island and there we can isolate thyself and drown ourselves in thoughts, bury our heads in shame and remind ourselves over and over again how much of a loser we are. Maybe drop a few tears too because we’re sure no one is watching, literally. While at it, we also sought for some solace in music, laid back music.. The kind that evokes memories to reckon with during that ‘trying moment’ and yeah, maybe it helps or Nah.... But fuck it! You want anything you can use or relate to, anything.

We are torn. We’re broken and it’s vividly written all over our faces.

For us millennials, our ego is so up there to admit we’re torn, to admit that we’re broken on the inside and it’s eating us up.

No! I’m fine.... I’ll be okay….It’s nothing believe me... Blah Blah. Why? Simply to pull off a ‘I’m not as bothered by what has happened' lame stunt. Yeah, so what? For what? Simple!….We millennials find it cool.

Many times we come across people we are attracted to, we’re deeply attached to and we are sure with them, we will share something special, something close to love or even more. We believe because the heart has spoken.

But Hell no. Damn! Reality strikes, they can’t seem to love you back the same way, they can’t seem to return the love back in equal amounts or more. It’s such a frustrating scene and a moment of rejection reigning. “That’s life”, they say.

But who wrote that script? Who approved it?

Sadly, they can’t be blamed! They too have a story untold. I story of their life that comes back and forth running down their Memory Lane when you ‘touch on it’

I’m thinking, if not wrong, I’m certain they were heart broken. They once upon a time gave in their all to love to that one person but didn’t really realize the point of loving anymore. All they ever harvested during that tenure was misery and frustrations.

They gave up! They lost the gas... They are not moved and think all Men, all women are the same.

Don’t Blame yourself... Don’t blame them. Like I said that’s the paradox of life!

Jamal Wasswa, a local RnB singer once bellowed the fine vocals of ‘Onansonyuwa' singing for his new love and explaining why she needn’t to blame him for their failed relationship owing to the fact that his earlier relationships had been a mess.

It’s a fine tune, get it when you can.

We arrived to a place where she got hurt in her past relationship and now says men are trash. She hates them.

He was cheated on in his past relationship and today, he’s a fuckboy! He hates women and brands them ‘unloyal’

It’s sad!

But wait, that doesn’t mean you can’t love anymore. Don’t give up yet.

Okay am I sounding like a motivational speaker? Shit.... This is the point I want to stop. I hate to sound this way.

You found her torn apart from her previous relationship and now you’re trying to get her to love again. But she’s a hard nut to crack!

It’s like she doesn’t want to be loved again. Man!

If you can’t move on and come to terms with the realities of life then for me I believe there’s no point of going on. You are living a reversed life.

Can I love you? Can I make you better?

Wait, you can’t be telling her the same thing her ex told her. You can’t remind her of the guy that broke her loyalty. You just can’t do a throwback to her. No way!

You’ll be friendzoned in one blink mate.

So coming to a place so far yet so near, here we are!

Hey there, can I love you? Yes, I have to ask!